Today I turn 30, and I’m still figuring things out.
The general perception seems to be that by 30, you’re set. You’re overjoyed at how those hard years spent earning a degree are finally paying off, you’re enjoying your first home and spending time with your growing family.
At 30, I’m just figuring out who I am and what I need.
At 30 I have a degree, and while I am enjoying the benefits (figuratively and literally) from the result of all those hard years at school, in the end it’s not enough for me. I need to create and make to be fulfilled, and how I’ll go about that yet I do not know. But at 30, in a career I love but does not fulfill (politics are partially to be blamed), I’m heading toward a huge life change. It’s terrifying, and I feel like I’ve gone back 10 years. I’m 20, frustrated at taking courses for something I don’t care about and not knowing what I want to do with my life. That time I ran away to Japan. This time I want to run away to Europe but logistics are keeping me here. But at the very least, this time I know where I need to be. I’m just figuring out how to get there.
At 30 I’ve got the house thing down. *phew* at least that’s checked off the list.
At 30 I have no children and, while we know we do want kids one day, we’re not ready. To be perfectly honest I’m still too selfish to bring in another human being into this world. Or perhaps I’m just unselfish enough to know now isn’t a good time. I want to figure out who I am and what I need before bringing in a child to the mix, because doesn’t that child deserve to have a mother who has clear goals in mind and has all (or at least half) of her ducks lined up in a row so every ounce of spare time can be spent doting and adoring? I’m sure regardless of my life situation, every ounce of spare time would be spent doting and adoring, but right now it wouldn’t be enough, and I want as much time as possible.
At 30 I’m figuring out who I am and what I need. I have so much in my life already to be thankful for: an incredibly supportive and loving husband, a beautiful family, wonderful friends, and a place I call home. I am eternally grateful for what these 30 years have brought me to where I stand today. And I am truly looking forward to what the next few years of my life will bring, as I achieve what I want and become who I want to be – a creator and a maker, an entrepreneur, a home owner, a loving wife, a doting mother.
Today I turn 30. I’m excited to see what happens next.
Side Note: Mere from Not Merely Living has interviewed me and is hosting me today as her blog crush! How lovely is that? Check it out
Hi Tan! First off, happy birthday!!
Your words really speak to me. I’m almost 30 and feel like I’m in the exact same place. I have a career I enjoy, but I know I don’t want to do it forever. I need something more creatively fulfilling, I’m just not sure what it is yet. I also feel exactly the same about children. I’m excited to see what 30 will bring for you!
So glad to know there’s others in the same boat!
<3
aww! happy 30th birthday, tan! you are a total youngster still! and i gotta say, when i turned 30 everything got easier after awhile … you kind of ease into your 30s and really start to enjoy being a little older with more life experience behind you. as for the kids thing, i never felt ready for it – and my sisters always told me there’s never a perfect time, which is true! definitely spend the next few years traveling and doing all the things you would love to do – then think about the kid thing – but in all honesty, having children is pretty darn amazing and it will become a part of who you are, part of your life experience and tapestry!
really, i think it’s an ongoing process for your entire life – figuring out who you are, what you believe in, where you want to go! have an awesome birthday year and enjoy! (ps we’re almost birthday twins – my birthday is tomorrow!) ^__^
lyndsay 🙂
lol yup I’m a youngin’.
I definitely hear from everyone that you’re never ready, but I know I’m definitely not ready now 😉
Hurrah! Happy birthday tomorrow Lindsay!
P.s. we still need to go for coffee or tea next time you’re on the island!
Happy Birthday Tan!
I just turned 29 yesterday and I’m mostly in the exact same boat as you. I find as I get older I’ve been letting go more and more of this vision of where I “need” or “should” be by a certain age. I had a whole plan for myself when I started college at 17 and now, having mostly followed that plan, I’ve realized it’s just not the life I want. So I’m going about totally reinventing what it is I want out of a career/life.
Hey fellow Scorpio!
Yes I totally know what you mean! And I’m coming to embrace the fact that we’re now in a generation where our wants and needs fluctuate throughout our lives. We’re no longer content to remain in the same profession for our entire careers like our grandparents or even parents.
Happy birthday, Tan! Welcome to the 30’s… it’s the best! 🙂 I have no doubt that there are wonderful things in store for you. Hope you have a wonderful day!
Thanks Stephanie! I’m excited to be here in the 30’s 😉
Your life is a wonderful creation, Tanya! You are creating beauty and love in your surroundings every moment – you are doing it, my love! You know how. 🙂 xoxo
Thank you so much Lois! You’re making me gush over here <3
Happy Birthday my beautiful friend. You are thoughtful, wise, loving, light, intense, creative, and inspiring: Not a bad place to be as you join us here in the “I’m 30” crowd. Love you.
Lisa! You are so sweet. Thank you. Happy to be a part of the crowd!
Happy birthday. Just to add my 2 cents worth from the wise old age of 54 – you are always figuring things out. You never have it sorted and just when you do life changes (you have children, you change your job, your children grow up etc). I would second the thought that there is never a right time to have children. If we waited to have everything in order before we had children we would all be 95 having our first 😉 Enjoy your day.
Happy Birthday Tan! It sounds like you have things pretty together, and you know yourself very well! I’m 29 and like you, feel like I’m headed towards a career change (although it sounds like you have a plan, whereas I’m still trying to figure my next career out!) It seems like everyone I know that’s heading towards the 30 mark is having doubts and confusion in their life – whether in career, relationship, the city they live in – it’s just this age I guess! We should all feel fortunate we have so many choices. I love that you know yourself though, and are excited about the next steps. Can’t wait to keep reading what’s next.
Happy Birthday, Tan!! I feel so similarly. I just turned 30 two weeks ago, and like you, I feel grateful to be just where I am.
Happy Birthday! I am 30 with two kids…just another perspective. You figure life out as they grow. In fact, I took a break from corporate when I had them and its what helped me find my passion (and it wasn’t a corporate desk job). have a great weekend!
Happy birthday Tan! I’m almost 40 and still struggling with that stuff – now though I just realise its life. We will always strive to do more, be more, love more, live more – that’s the beauty of this crazy ride we are all on. It’s very important to take time to just be happy and not worry we won’t do it all though. You have plenty of time for kids – you have enough at school now anyway 😉 xxx