Yep, even Skee-Lo wishes things were a little bit different for him. At least back in 1995 he did. (You’re welcome for getting that song stuck in your head).
Something I have always struggled with ever since I was aware of my body is my weight. I remember the teasing in elementary school, being embarrassed at my lack of stamina in junior high gym class, and feeling like I could never get a date in high school (hell, well into my 20’s).
I’m now closing in on the first year of my thirties and I’m only now slowly becoming more okay with my body. But I still don’t love it. I gripe and moan about clothes not looking how I’d like, or wearing only certain clothes because they hide ‘troublesome areas’. I realize I am in full control of my body and, if I wanted, I could just join a hardcore gym and only drink juices and eat salad for the rest of my life. But honestly I don’t think that would make me any happier.
And I’m okay with that, but here’s where I worry. One day when we have children, I would hate to have my insecurities projected onto them. How I feel about myself should have no influence on how anyone feels about their bodies, especially children. But it’s hard to hide how you feel about yourself every moment of every day. Don’t tell me you haven’t indulged in a pint of ice cream and sat there feeling miserable about yourself on a lonely Saturday night before. …..only me? ….okay ignore that last bit.
As I mentioned, I’m slowly becoming more comfortable with my body. It’s taken nearly 30 years and it will no doubt take several more, but I’m getting there.
Whether it’s our body, intellect, income, or whatever else, we all have our insecurities, even if it’s just some of the time. My questions to you are:
What things do you do or say to remind yourself that
you
are
enough
?
Thanks Tanya! Such a thoughtful, honest post. I know they all are, but…..some take more openness, I guess. My initial reaction was – how could someone as bright and beautiful as Tanya have insecurities about anything?! And before the thought ended – I had another, which was – wait a minute, I think I know exactly how. The feeling of “not good enough” lasted with me until I was at least 50! Now I’m free and it feels darn good. Don’t wait, kiddo. Enjoy what you have to offer the world and the gifts it has for you. Enjoy the love that surrounds you. Being aware and open, as you are, is a big leap! Patience with yourself – you’re on the way to a wonderful life of learning and “knowing”. Love to you.
hurrah for freedom! Certainly patience is key to fully accepting oneself just as you are. Thank you for the words of encouragement! So glad you found your patience and self love <3
I feel the same way you do! I’m becoming more comfy, but there are still things I don’t love. When ever I have children, I want to make sure they grow up in a home with positive body language.
Hear hear! (such a funny saying)
Such a good post!
Having an unhealthy body image/struggling with self loathing was something I have struggled with since I was in grade 6. (kids teased me and I had a relative who would constantly talk about my weight)
Getting married helped as my dear husband would call me out on speaking negative about my body! Once James pointed it out, I realized that was not a mindset I wanted to pass on to kiddies so earlier this year I took a stance against the negative mindset and just refused to speak negative words over myself. (I wrote about this last August http://www.ssheart.com/blog/2014/8/on-bikini-bridges-other-crazy-body-image-stuff )
And so crazy, it has worked! The self loathing has stopped, and my mindset has shifted. Obvs there are hard times but even my husband has noticed how I don’t speak negative words over myself! I want my kids to grow up in a loving and encouraging environment so how could I pass that on if I wasn’t loving and encouraging myself?
THank you so much for sharing that post Laura! What a beautiful reflection on your growth and determination to not speak negatively about yourself again. I’m so glad you have James to hold your hand down that path of loving every little bit of yourself! xo
Nice one, Tanster.
The best line for me came from Susan Surandon. When asked to look back on her life she said she has no regrets, no longing to be her younger self again, or a different self. To paraphrase; You’ve got to own your life.
The good, the bad, the ugly. It’s all yours. Owning it all feels empowering. I falter, of course, and I too worried about how my insecurities would affect my children. Now that Thomas is here, I didn’t have to work hard at changing my view of myself. Having kids makes me want to be a better me, naturally. Your kiddies will do the same for you. If not, I will 😉
My god I love Susan Sarandon. Wise words from a wise woman.
xo love you <3
I’m pretty sure the theme of kids having to overcome the “inadequacies” of their parents will be with human beings as long as we’re here! Thankfully, children become adults with the potential of understanding and forgiveness – and they can be wonderful parents sometimes, despite their parenting and not because their parents were good role models! I am speaking in generalities – but it may apply to just about everyone! Each generation is meant to become wiser – that makes the generation before, not quite as able to get it right. 🙂 You and The Mister will be amazing parents, just as you are.
I suppose it is a lot to expect to be perfect as a parent – no one is. But certainly striving to be a better self is a way to accomplish being a better person and, therefore, a better parent. xo <3
I know I’m late to comment, but I loved reading this… I couldn’t agree more. I especially echo the knowing I’m in control of my body- but I don’t think killing myself to get the body I want would make me any happier.